Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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