I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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