Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
