just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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