I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i've created a new STD.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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