It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize