With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize