Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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