no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
