I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize