OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
