id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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