We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
