Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
