so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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