so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
