Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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