Cold hands, warm shart.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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