I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize