We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize