There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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