Capitaan dildo arrescate!
accomplished twins. life is a go
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
