i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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