i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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