is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
