people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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