this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
