did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
