Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
