as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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