yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
