At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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