I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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