Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
