Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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