pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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