i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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