"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
