Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we made out on top of his cat.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
