You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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