I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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