I have demons in me.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
