i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
