I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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