YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
