Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
