I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
