She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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