An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
