There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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