just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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