I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
