HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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