Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize