WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
