She is in my trunk
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
