Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
