I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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