I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
