You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
