actually, I'm a sock model
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Blood and glitter go together right?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
