You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize