To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
one two three fourrrrnication!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
