He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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