oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
