I wish I could teleport
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
